| It's a tough life up here. My name is Barry Stingray and I live on the edge, supporting my family back East. I have two sons: Danger, who is eight, and Risk, who is ten. My beautiful wife Sandra Stingray (I took her last name because I couldn't let her give up an alliteration like that), mothers them sketchily, just like I like it. Our family past times when I visit home include para-sailing, cliff diving, jumping out of helicopters while wearing skis, then landing on snowy mountains. It's a nice break from working at the local high school, where my safety is in danger every day. The threat of an earthquake taking out the school, and thus the ceiling and lights looms in my mind daily. And if I fail to open my eyes and turn on my lights on time? Well they all assume I'm broken, and send some stranger to get all up in my business, which is never fun. Based off my exciting lifestyle, you'd never guess my ability to sew a killer needlepoint pillow. Want an awesome scene of some edgy flowers? I'll sew that so fast you won't even realize. Need a sassy saying? No problemo. |
